Friday, February 11, 2005

Hello Blog World,

What happens when you have post-natal depression? I mean, what really happens? Is it the whole idea of something coming along and changing your life and not quite being as you expected?
Well, I ask this because I wonder if there is a similar syndrome with marriage. Where you build your whole life (regardless of whether you mean to or not) to this whole ideal of meeting "the one" and living happily ever after. Is it normal to have feelings of doubt and fear after you actually make this committment to someone? I don't know. But I do wonder if there is such a thing, and whether it's common like Post natal depression.
Any thoughts would be appreciated.

I know when I last spoke I said I was doing great with my Aropax withdrawal, and I guess I still am. You can probably tell from my forlorn tone that I am a little down. Why? I don't know. Probably a whole bunch of events and feelings and frustrations with my life right now.
Anyway, I decied to stay on 5mg for the entire week. Well, I went to 2.5 on Tuesday, 5 on Wednesday and 2.5 thurs and friday. I am now just starting to get so damn frustrated with the whole process I want to speed it up as much as I can.
Number one plus in my life right now, is that I have had no panic attacks. It's amazing. For those of you who don't know, this is the reason I was prescibed the drug.
It's also one of the major side effects when you withdraw, so as you can imagine, a fairly nail biting topic for me.
Aside from this, I am on the journey to try to budge some of the weight I piled on from my meds. I will find out tomorrow whether I have actually lost anything this week. Fingers crossed for me. BUT, I do know I have lost 1cm around my kneck and a couple from my thighs. YAY! Better than a kick in the pants. (altought, depends whose kicking!)
Anyway, tomorrow is the weekend, FABULOUS. Love weekends. We have nothing much to do which is good and bad. Good because I am terrible at keeping committments and bad because I will go bored and probably turn to the bottle. Must not self medicate myself with alcohol.
But why is it so fun!!
So, with that, I will say have a good weekend, and next week going to be the big ZERO. Oh my god, 0-mg of crazy meds. Hold onto your computer seats fellow geeks. It's going to be quite a week.


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